Kevan Gilbert:

Found on a bulletin board in Airdrie’s Towerlane Mall. I hope she found someone to knit her that awesome-looking…housecoat? This plastic kid’s toy sword was found hanging on a wall in a dollar store. Your englishes are have broken! No, but I could use that fur to knit this sweater I’m working on. These enormous [...]

A Christmas spoof of biblical proportions, including the Life and Ministry of Santa. Condensed from the Holy Book of Claus.

Who would win in a fight between a penguin and a lemur?

I try to be nice to store employees. I mean, they put up with a lot, and don’t usually get much credit for it. This carries over to my daily interactions with Sodexho employees, who tend to take about as much crap as they dish out. This means that every time I ask for some [...]

It was 4 am. I was sleeping, which is traditionally how I like to spend my 4 ay-ems. My roommate Luke was also fast asleep – or possibly slow asleep, I couldn’t tell – and was sprawled out on the lower bunk. If I remember correctly, I was having my usual recurring dream – the [...]

My chin is now the first result in Google Images for “ringworm.”

I didn’t expect today to be my last day of work. My boss and I had agreed that Thursday of this week would be the end of my term of service, and at that point I’d gracefully bow out, say my goodbyes, and who knows, maybe even be the guest of honour at a surprise [...]

Thanksgiving means something different to everyone. For some, it is a time to gather together with friends and family to gleefully participate in the atrocities of the wildfowl genocide that happens each year on turkey farms worldwide. For others, thanksgiving means giving thanks for the gifts one has thankfully been given. For me, however, thanksgiving [...]

Human beings and animals alike have an unwritten rule that if you borrow someone else’s stuff, you are not supposed to break it. And if you break it, you’re supposed to get it fixed. And to get it fixed, you must be willing to walk through the worst scourges of this cold earth, fighting man [...]

When I was 14 years old, in the mournful winter days of a pre-millenium February, my very first girlfriend ever broke up with me after 8 months of earnest yet naïve dating. Of all possible days to break up with me, she chose Valentine’s Day. And she did it over e-mail. The e-mail consisted only [...]

Man, it’s already fall. The leaves are turning the colour of 70s living room décor, and I can see my breath inside my bedroom. Unlike summer, which announced itself two months in advance with flirtatious giggles, October just showed up out of nowhere, like a light-brown portable in the middle of your frisbee field. Before [...]

When I first rolled into Trinity Western University in my parent’s minivan on O-Day oh-two, it was only my second time ever visiting the campus. The previous January, I had taken a quick tour in the middle of a snowstorm with a friendly Egyptian named Sam, but all I remembered from that were the hours [...]