Calgary Flames lost because of a moustache
By Kevan • Apr 22nd, 2007 • Category: News
Paul McLean will eat your soul
Approximately seven minutes ago, the Calgary Flames were eliminated from the 2007 Stanley Cup Finals by the Detroit Red Wings. The city fell silent and wept into its pillow. All across the prairie town, the Red Mile turned blue, as thousands of Flames fans untied their western-style jersey collars and retired their cowboy hats for the next season.
What they do not yet realize is that the only reason the Red Wings won was because of the incredibly evil, voodoo-infused, world-dominating, devil-worshipping moustache worn by Detroit’s Assistant Coach Paul McLean. I took a photo of him during the 1st overtime intermission. The look in his eyes and the bristles on his ’stache are all violently, vehemently, viciously screaming I STOP AT NOTHINGS TO EATS FROM THE STAMLEE CUP! (The ’stache has horrible grammar) So ends a very short-lived playoff season for all whose hearts were tied to the Calgary Flames. Blame it on the moustache.
Kevan is a life-size replica of a 5'8" tall human being, and comes with several interchangeable outfits and a realistic haircut. With a BA in Communications from Trinity Western University, Kevan’s professional writing, graphic design, web and creative consulting services are available for hire. Kevan resides with his beautiful wife Kendra in Vancouver, BC, and is generally a nice person.
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Just curious . . . you’re a British Columbian by virtue of your birthplace. Is it easy to switch to Calgary-love or are you somewhat apathetic to the city’s loss?
By the by, go Canucks tonight.
Watching hockey is such a city-centric pastime. You watch the game and know that every other human in the city is either watching it too, or wishing they were, and it’s all about Your Team. When Your Team gets eliminated, you can hear the collective sigh breathe through the streets. For me, as a Calgary-ish resident, that the city will no longer be following hockey for the season is a sad thing. It dampens the atmosphere. Fan or not, when the city deflates, one takes note.
The Flames are a decent team, but I only care about them for the sake of social relevance. My heart is still firmly with the Canucks. You can’t escape it.
I appreciate that answer. Sometimes being on the pulse of the community means giving up what’s in your own bloodstream. But if I moved to Toronto, I still couldn’t cheer for the Leafs.
Hey man,
I really don’t appreciate what you wrote about Paul. He is a great coach and a fantastic man. You really shouldn’t write stuff like this about someone soley based on their facial hair. This “…the incredibly evil, voodoo-infused, world-dominating, devil-worshipping moustache worn by Detroit’s Assistant Coach Paul McLean.” is too far.
Regards,
T
Hey Tanner: thanks a lot for the note. My diatribe wasn’t pointed at Mr. McLean — just this moustache, which I believe to be an entirely separate entity, with its own life support system. :)
Actually, I don’t follow hockey much at all, and this picture I snapped was the first I’d ever heard of Paul McLean. You’re right, what I wrote was fairly insensitive, especially to people who are well-acquainted with the team and its coach. I had no intention of hurting anyone’s feelings — just trying to bring some levity to what was a sort-of-sad situation at the time. A bristling moustache is always a great diversion.
Thanks again for your note. I will be more cautious about posting words like this in the future.
Take care,
Kevan
Calgary can’t handle the stache!!
It should be noted that Paul MacLean’s stache has done great things as well.
It has fed the hungry, sheltered the homeless and put his own children through college.
Paul’s mustache is nearing saint hood..but has a bad temper. I’d watch what you say about it.
I think calgary’s problem had more to do with their playing ability and less to do with the facial attache.
Oh, and I hear its taking classes for it’s speech problem every monday night at the Y.
That’s such a great response, Margo. I love it! This Paul McLean fellow gets cooler every second. Like I said in the above response, I really don’t know anything about the guy — just aimlessly posting flippancy. But it’s good to hear that the moustache is so concerned with literacy and speech. I look forward to receiving updates about its steady rehabilitation process. Hopefully it will lose its fierce temper, too. I’d hate to see how it would react to an electric razor…
The stache is as great as the legend himself. Don’t think twice because just agree. I once met the might man they Call Mr Maclean, we shared beer on a porch over looking the quiet wilderness of Nova Scotia. It was an experience and them some. Calgary needs a stache like this, Calgary wants a stache like this, Calgary wants a man like this.
Get you game right Calgary before you once again embarrass yourself
Indeed Estoban, I agree. Calgary has a pretend stacher in Keenan…Detroit has a real stacher in MacLean…look at the standings.
Figure it out!
Kevan since you stated yourself that you “really didn’t know the guy” I thought besides being a great coach and father, I would give you a little insight to his hockey playing career. Its always good to be knowlegable even if you don’t follow hockey much!
GP(games played) 719
Goals 324
Assists 349
Points 673
PIMS( penalty minutes) 968
PlayoffsGP( games played) 53 - Goals 21 - Assists 14 - Pts 35 - PIMS(penalty minutes 110